Sisterhood on the Go
Don’t tell me that you can’t make friends.
Yes, it IS different in your 30s, 40s, and beyond than it was in your childhood or even your early 20s. But it is still possible, and above all, it is crucial. Conversations with a stranger and deep bonding with a close one feed the soul. I don’t know what I’d do with myself if I didn’t have my clients (mostly males, actually), my best friend Olinka, and my bold mouth to strike up conversations on the go. However, it is not the small talk that nourishes us. The thing is… you have to let people in, and be an open ear and open heart for their stories, too. It’s in the BIG talk, where we recognize a kindred spirit and how much we have in common with someone we barely know… it kind of brings tears to my eyes. Those are the moments I live for - when I recognize somebody, when I see in their eyes and feel with my heart that they are fighters like me, and deep down super sensitive just as well.
My advice is, don’t be afraid to go deep. You don’t need to share your deepest secrets in the first 5 minutes, but let’s say that someone is truly interested in how your day went, and they can see the distress in your body… perhaps instead of replying that you are fine when you are not, you can let them know what you need. That you have felt depleted for a while, and you are still not getting your needs met at this moment right here. After you get your validation, ask if they’ve been having a good time. Perhaps you’ll resonate with some aspects of their story; then you can talk about how you’ve overcome a recent hardship, or are you still in it? Read the room, but somehow, it is most likely okay to share what’s been REALLY going on with you after a while. And perhaps before you know it, maybe 1,5 hour into the conversation, you’re having an impromptu lunch with that new person you only just met but who seems so genuine and friendly that you can’t help but already wish them only the best in their life. A sort of protective, parental instinct, hoping that person will be well in their romantic life and elsewhere. Maybe that lunch is a start to a new friendship, or maybe it will lead only to occasional matcha lattes together when you are both in the same city, or you will never see them again, we can’t know everything. But I can promise you this: you will never regret the time you spend really connecting with another human being.
Go deep, and watch what’s gonna happen.